


Parenting 101

by Kestrealbird



Series: Dad Colonello [2]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Fon is an Uncle, Gen, Papa Colonello, Toddler Tsuna, but still pretty useless, these three have no idea what they're doing, who let them raise a child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 19:22:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12327231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kestrealbird/pseuds/Kestrealbird
Summary: Colonello, Fon and Reborn attempt to dress a toddler. It goes about as well as you'd expect





	Parenting 101

**Author's Note:**

> I promised to write more for Dad Colonello so here's this little fic to tide you over until I get my wits about me and figure out where to go from here lol

“I don’t think this is right,” Fon said, trying to untangle Tsuna’s small fingers from his hair.

Reborn glared. “Gee, Fon,” he snarked, “whatever gave you _that_ idea?”

Colonello looked down at Tsuna and the clothes that were supposed to be a Sailor Uniform, but looked more like a death trap.

“Don’t you have a nephew?” He turned to Fon with a sigh, leaning over the table to help him escape from Tsuna’s fingers. Maybe next time he’d put his hair up before trying to stick a shirt over the toddler’s head.

Fon shrugged. “I’m the fun Uncle who gives Kyoya sweets and piggy back rides. I’m not responsible for his health.”

Reborn gave him a blank look. “But you’re his Uncle. And you’ve never looked after him before?” His tone was accusing, making Fon bristle like a disgruntled cat. Colonello started disassembling the Clothing Trap, cooing when Tsuna clapped his hands. He really liked doing that recently. Reborn said it was because he’d seen Fon do it to get their attention all the time. Fon said he was delusional.

“Uncle’s and Babysitter’s are completely different things,” Fon argued.

“And if they can’t afford a Babysitter and you’re the one forced to look after him?” Colonello cursed under his breath as he fiddled with the button’s on Tsuna’s trousers. Maybe he should’ve brought that ‘Parent’s Guide for Dummies’ book after all. It wasn’t _his_ fault that Reborn insisted it sounded too patronizing, and convinced him that looking after a child wouldn’t be too hard for three grown men.

Reborn was lucky he hadn’t been thrown at the window.

Fon shrugged, a little guiltily, but didn’t answer the question. Wonderful.

Colonello gave a sound of triumph as he finally managed to get the clothes off of Tsunayoshi, and he fell back onto his chair with a sigh. “This is hopeless,” he muttered.

“You’re the one who kidnapped him.” Fon had this really irritating habit, Colonello mused, of saying just the right thing at just the right time to test everyone’s patience. He didn’t know if Fon was genuinely that oblivious, or if he did it on purpose for his own sick amusement.

Reborn stared longingly at his pack of cigarettes. Colonello had forbidden him from smoking them around Tsunayoshi until the kid was old enough to decide whether he was okay with the smoking or not. They’d barely had him for two days. “It was your idea,” he reminded Fon.

“Yes,” Fon agreed, scowling, “but I didn’t expect him to actually _do it_.”

“You know I don't have a good impulse control, Fon,” Colonello muttered.

Fon looked at Lichie, Leon and Falco, all huddled together on the rug in front of a radiator. “None of us do,” he decided. Reborn saluted.

“Maybe Skull could help,” Reborn snickered.

Fon cuffed his head. “Just because Skull is the youngest out of us doesn't mean-”

“Actually,” Colonello cut in, with grave importance, “Verde is the youngest. By a few months.” Reborn sat down, looking into the distance as if his whole world up until this point had been a lie. Fon muttered a quiet ‘huh’.

Tsuna wriggled on the blankets, puffing out his cheeks when he realized they weren’t paying attention to him. Fon panicked, remembering the one time they (as in, he and Reborn) had ignored him for a couple of hours, thinking that nothing bad could possibly happen because he was in the back of the car, only to be proven wrong by an almighty wail that made Reborn swerve the car, narrowly avoiding a huge collision with a lorry.

Coming face to face with Colonello’s Shotgun -affectionately named Mary after the English Queen- wasn’t something Fon wanted to repeat any time soon.

He wiggled his fingers, making embarrassing noises just to keep the child quiet, and almost clutched his chest with relief when Tsuna laughed, reaching up to play with his fingers.

Reborn watched them for a few minutes, silently, and said, “maybe we should just get him a hoodie and some pants for now.” They’d be easy to put him into, without any buttons or zippers or anything fiddly to work with outside of the boy’s own limbs, and he’d probably be damn comfy in them too.

Colonello was already tossing his car keys to Fon, who was more than happy to leave the house in case Tsuna started to cry again.

When Tsuna is older and refuses to wear anything that isn’t a Hoodie and pants unless he absolutely has to, Colonello will turn to Reborn and say, “this is your fault.”


End file.
